I miss church!

I started working the overnight shift when I had Xander 6 years ago. Since then our church attendance has been horrible! I don't like this fact. I grew up in church... Even went to two years of Bible College. This is NOT what I want for my family! Xander started attending church with his buddy several months ago, and he loves it. I figured that if we're not going, at least he can get involved with church! But still... Almost every week I think to myself, "self, we NEED to go to church as a whole family!"

So... Last Sunday, we went to church. The three littles cried so much that the church workers had me leave church to deal with them. All I could do was sit in the van with them and cry. I KNOW they wouldn't be like this if they had grown up from day one going to church. I feel like I am totally to blame... If I didn't work this crappy shift we'd be involved in a church family. We decided to go to church again this morning... I NEED my kids to enjoy church like I always have! But, as I sit here at work on my lunch break, I'm so exhausted that I can't see going to church and actually staying awake.

I HATE THIS!!!