The Boni Bunch: "Rachel Needs" ... according to Google

Friday, February 20, 2009

"Rachel Needs" ... according to Google

You know how this works.. google "your name needs" and list the first 10 here... Here's Mine:
1. Rachel needs to refer to Web sites, manuals, and a variety of documentation (um, OK)
2. Rachel Needs Your Help (I definitely could use your help... with everything!)
3. Rachel needs to have blush that is very bright and colourful! (My cheeks are already pink... maybe I need a "not so bright" blush??)
4. Rachel needs 2 get over herself and she needs 2 do it NOW (Ah... how mean, I didn't realize I was so bad!)
5. Rachel strives to be the best she can be. She is easily encouraged by positive reinforcement and praise. (This one sounds better!)
6. Rachel needs bigger car seat. (LOL!!!... I need a bigger car!)
7. Rachel needs a hero with pictures. (anyone want to be my hero??)
8. Rachel needs help when she enters Manhattan's meat-packing district to help three transvestite hookers find out who murdered one of their friends. (Omg.... craziness!)
9. Rachel needs some good thoughts. (Especially after #8)
10. Rachel needs your votes for this year's Teen Choice Awards! (Go me!!!!!)

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You know you're a mom if...

...if kids songs are the ones stuck in your head (from Renee)
...if you realize your kids are 3 years old and it is time to start carrying a normal purse and no longer the diaper bag as your purse (from Renee)
...if you find kid's food in your purse or toys (from Renee)
...if you know every episode of spongebob!! (from Michelle)
...if your kids are bathed, fed, and dressed while you are famished and unbathed in your PJ's...And then at that point you have to say screw it, because you cant leave them unattended in the house long enough to take a quick shower, so you pray tomorrow is a better day! (from Jackie & Jennifer)
...if you walk through the halls of your local kindergarten and all the kids start saluting you because they have been informed you are the President of Oklahoma (yes thats right, Oklahoma, not the United States) (from Jennifer)
...if you go to work and have a coworker tell you you have something on your shirt and you look at it only to find that one of your children has used your shirt as a kleenex (from Rachael)
...if you can hug and kiss a child whose breath smells worse than a dragon's after he/she has been throwing up for most of the day and night. And, not throw up yourself in the process (from Marla)
...if the school principal calls you because your child brought your bra to their kindergarten class for show and tell (from Jennifer)
...if your extended relatives know which parts of your body have hair and which ones dont because it was your childs topic of choice at a Christmas (from Jennifer)
...if you don't mind if your kids drink out of your glass and you will still drink from it too (from Marcia)
...if your living room looks more like a play area for kids than a nice place to entertain guests (mine)
...if you have a funny story (funny now, but not at the time)...how your son passing gas during a diaper change managed to shoot a poo ball on your cheek! (from Sandi)
...if you see your parents in a whole new light! (from Katrina)
...if you carry a diaper bag as a purse (from Kelly)
...if you have items in your purse that would normally be found in a baby's room or diaper bag (from Wendy)
...if nasty bodily fluids don't bother you; OR if you have other children spit their gum into your hand when they're done! (from Candace)
...if your belly gradually got huge over 9 months. Then you suddenly had a bunch of pain followed by a human coming out of you! (from Elizabeth)
...if you start saying the phrase, "Because I said so!" and it may be to a coworker, not your children! (from Melanie)
...if you can change a dirty diaper and not get the dry heaves because it looks like pea soup & smells worse (from Diana)
...if you will eat something out of your child's mouth that they refuse to eat. (from Courtney)
...if you find Cheerios in the bottom of your purse, couch, vehicle... (from Sahar)
...if You're stopped in walmart by a nice lady who says.."Excuse me, miss....you have some cheerios stuck to your butt" (from Kym)
...if your printer mysteriously quits working a week after you buy it. You send it in for under warranty repairs and Lexmark sends it back with a note that has a Barbie shoe taped to it and all it says is we found the problem (from Amanda)
...if most of your shirts are stained on the shoulder (from droop & goop)
...if you keep a box of baby wipes in the car...just in case
...if you pull something out of your purse and a baby sock falls out
...if your dishwasher has no real cups...all sippy cups & bottles

The Boni Bunch

Friday, February 20, 2009

"Rachel Needs" ... according to Google

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