I'm still here!

Last night I went out with my TMOM family! We had our monthly meeting... then afterwards we went out (15 of us) to Applebee's for our "post-meeting"! It's become a routine to go out after our general meeting AND after the board meeting! And that's quite all right with me! While eating, a couple of the ladies started talking about their blogs... and I was quickly reminded of how I've been slacking! See... this is why last year's new years resolution was to blog daily ... that way I wouldn't let SO long go between posts! Instead, this year, my resolution was to not get so bogged down by feeling like I HAD to post daily... and as a result, it's been 15 days since my last post! So...somehow I need to make some kind of compromise! LOL....


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In my defense... in case you aren't on my Facebook... the last two weeks have been a little overwhelming and exhausting- both physically and emotionally! On Monday, January 9th, we received news that my grandma was diagnosed with Leukemia. The dr. said that with her other existing medical issues and with her age, she wouldn't be able to do chemo; he gave her AT MOST 3 months to live. She is in Colorado- so immediately, my mom and I began making plans and arrangements to get up there to spend some time with her before she would pass away. We had it all worked out... Tim stayed home with Xander so he wouldn't miss school. Mom and I loaded up the three littles in her car and we left for Colorado on Wednesday afternoon- Jan 25th. Thanks to some fun activities found on Pinterest and thanks to my friend, Misti, letting us borrow her portable DVD player, the kids were surprisingly well behaved! We drove halfway on Wednesday, then the rest of the drive was Thursday morning (12 hours drive total).

We had a good few days in CO... my friend, Jeri, helped watch the three littles while I visited with grandma. My mom was over at grandma's house pretty much all the time! The kids got to see her, but since she was in bed most of the time, I left them with Jeri ...didn't want to exhaust her more having the littles running around! We had planned to leave to come back to OK on Monday, the 30th, but it was SO hard leaving. Mom knew (along with the rest of the family) that it wouldn't be long before grandma would go meet the Lord... it was SO VERY HARD knowing we had to leave. So, mom was at grandma's house... I loaded up the car and took the kids to play at a park (trying to allow them to expend as much energy as possible before driving 6 hours that evening). I told mom I'd be over around 230 so we could say our "good-byes" then hit the road.

Well, the kids were having fun, so I didn't end up leaving the park til about 240... 10 minutes later than I should have been at grandma's house. Right after pulling out of the park, my mom called and said, "When you get here, don't bring in the kids- grandma just died." My first thought was DANG IT!!! I was going to be there at 230... if I had been there, I would have been able to say good-bye... I would have been there for her final moments.... but then the reality of my three sweet, naive children in the backseat hit me.... I realized that HAD I been there at 230, THEY also would have been there! That would NOT have been the best place for them! So... I am glad we were at the park. I called Jeri and she left work to come take the kids for me (doncha just LOVE good friends??) so that I could go be at the house with the rest of the family! Obviously we didn't jump in the car and hit the road. We spent the next couple of hours making the necessary arrangements to be able to stay through the end of the week for the funeral. I KNEW that we needed to be there, but I so badly missed Tim and Xander!

Until the day she passed, grandma was taking care of everyone. From the exhausted days and nights in her bed, she was still making sure everyone in the house had a drink or food. She wanted to be sure that everyone had a place to sit. Telling family not to be quiet... be loud and "don't shoosh anyone!" She was sending out "get well soon" cards to people the week before she passed away- she was ALWAYS thinking of everyone else...taking care of everyone! She apologized to me every time I saw her that she was so tired and in bed. I assured her that she had nothing to be sorry for... that after a lifetime of her taking care of everyone, it's our turn to take care of her... and we're happy to do it!

The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions. I desperately wanted to be involved in the funeral plans, but obviously the kids couldn't be there for all of that... so instead I sat at Jeri's house feeling sorry for myself! I felt bad asking her to keep the kids, but I felt bad NOT being over with the family helping in any way I could. In hindsight, I needed a nanny! LOL...

Anyways, the family came in from all over for the funeral..... it was a beautiful service. This may be a TMI moment for you, but the funeral home made her look AMAZING! I'd post pictures, but that might be too much! She looked healthy... like she did 10 years ago... like she was just laying there resting. I'm so glad too; I didn't want my last image to be how I saw her 10 minutes after she passed away. Her spirit had left her body... she was just an empty shell! I love the comforting knowledge that when she breathed her last breath on this earth, she was immediately present with Our Father! She is no longer in pain... she is healthy... running and dancing on the golden streets in front of the house prepared for her in heaven!! I will see her again one day... I'm so glad!

I love Virginia Ruth Messick SO very much! She will be greatly missed! Our loss is heaven's gain... heaven sure did gain an AMAZING woman!

So... after this LONG blog post...if you're still with me, THANK YOU for reading about my last couple of weeks! You can imagine, I'm sure, why I'm so tired! I wish that I had lots of pictures to post on here of our time with grandma last week, but it just wasn't do-able. Anyways, I promise to post happier blog posts after today... just really felt like I needed to share about grandma! Thanks again for hanging with me through this long and heart-felt post!

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Also, in honor of my grandmother, I cut my hair yesterday to send to Locks of Love! It was a little scary- my last REAL haircut (not a trim) was in August 2009... so it was pretty long! I like my new do though!!