The Boni Bunch: Lost "friends," but TOO BLESSED!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Lost "friends," but TOO BLESSED!

You know that moment when you think you have a HUGE circle of friends- people you trust and people who would support you no matter what... and then out of no where, it hits you that you were VERY wrong?

Nope, I don't know that feeling either!

Well, in all seriousness. The last few weeks have been trying "friend" moments for me. Some of the people who I held dear have hurt me. I recently read something about one of the hardest decisions in life is knowing whether to walk away or continue to be walked on! I don't understand the rift in our friendship. I'm actually quite baffled by it. ONE person even suggested that I was unfriendly and insensitive... yet to my face has always been friendly to me. I feel like I'm a teenager all over again... being hurt by friends and trying to figure out where I stand with the people I love! This mess has majorly taken over most of my free thoughts...

I wonder what happened?

What went wrong?

How could I have been so fooled by the fake camaraderie?

So, for "fun," I went through Pinterest a couple of days ago and started looking for "friendship" quotes!!

These are a few:

True friends enrich, comfort, and delight!
True friends honor each others feelings!
True friends thrive on shared trust!
True friendships give value to our survival!

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies!

and finally

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for"

After reading all these friendship quotes, I was forced to evaluate my "friendships!" Who is out there that is worth the suffering & heartache. If I hurt them, would they stick around for me? Is our friendship a give-give or was I putting into something that she was only taking from?

One friend said something to me yesterday when I expressed my frustration about these people not even attempting to resolve the issues:

"You can either call them and ask them why they haven't...or you can just assume that they chose not to for their own reasons. What you really need to decide is if the answer would make a difference for you or not- do you even care what that answer would be?"

Hmmmm.... well! So, am I better off NOT knowing the reason behind the broken relationships or knowing the reason and being potentially MORE upset by the reason?

So here I am... rambling on about what is going on in my brain... frustrated by the events of the last weeks...needing to decide what is important to me.

---------------------------------------------

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8)

Am I spending my days dwelling on what is true and right and lovely? NOPE!! I am spending way too much time dwelling on the what happeneds? and not nearly enough time focusing on the GREATNESS in my life!

I am going to PURPOSE to focus not on the lost friends (who may have never truly been friends to begin with) and PURPOSE to focus on the blessings that I have!

MY BLESSINGS:
Tim- my amazing husband and best friend!

My kids- the light of my eye... my joy!
My family- my mom, brother, in-laws, and extended family- LOVE THEM!

My job- I have a job that I love doing with people I love working with!
Laurisa and Shannon- my "sisters" who both always know right when I need a phone call. Though we're hundreds of miles apart, they time it perfectly!! I know they're always there!

My true friends- those people in my life that I know would do for me all that I do for them; those who encourage me and uplift me rather than bring me down; those who honor my feelings as I honor theirs; those who bring value to my life!

There's an old saying, "I'm too blessed to be stressed" .... I really NEED to remind myself of this quote often. Every time I stress about stupid "little" things, I need to remind myself that I have too much in my life to celebrate to allow myself to let the frustration set in!

If you actually read this, I realize that it sounds like mindless rambling... but I needed to write out my thoughts. This isn't a blog I'll share on my FB page because it's more about getting my thoughts out than about sharing my thoughts with everyone I know. SO, thank you for reading.

AND, I ask you to hold me accountable to this- if you hear me being negative or stressing out over silly stuff, please remind me that

I AM TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!!!

6 comments:

The PhelpsJanuary 26, 2013 at 5:36 AM
Rachel, This is so true. and Although it feels like highschool "drama" I think its just a part of life. I always try to remind myself, you have friends for a reason and friends for a season. If they are the reason for your season, then its probably not gonna end well but if they are the reason you get through a season, then they are a friend for a lifetime! New year comes a new you, and new view. Enjoy every minute, and continue to be too blessed to be stressed (Im totally using that)
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Mommy GirlJanuary 28, 2013 at 3:53 PM
AHH, I hear ya with friendship dramas. My best friend threw away our friendship about 6 years ago. It was shocking. But sometimes I see that some friendships are for a season, and not all are meant to be forever. Tough pill to swallow, but true. you are loved by so many!!
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MistiJanuary 28, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Hang in there girl! If you were fine before you knew them, you will be fine after.....pick your battles that are most important to you & always take gossip w/a grain of salt ;)
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You know you're a mom if...

...if kids songs are the ones stuck in your head (from Renee)
...if you realize your kids are 3 years old and it is time to start carrying a normal purse and no longer the diaper bag as your purse (from Renee)
...if you find kid's food in your purse or toys (from Renee)
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...if you walk through the halls of your local kindergarten and all the kids start saluting you because they have been informed you are the President of Oklahoma (yes thats right, Oklahoma, not the United States) (from Jennifer)
...if you go to work and have a coworker tell you you have something on your shirt and you look at it only to find that one of your children has used your shirt as a kleenex (from Rachael)
...if you can hug and kiss a child whose breath smells worse than a dragon's after he/she has been throwing up for most of the day and night. And, not throw up yourself in the process (from Marla)
...if the school principal calls you because your child brought your bra to their kindergarten class for show and tell (from Jennifer)
...if your extended relatives know which parts of your body have hair and which ones dont because it was your childs topic of choice at a Christmas (from Jennifer)
...if you don't mind if your kids drink out of your glass and you will still drink from it too (from Marcia)
...if your living room looks more like a play area for kids than a nice place to entertain guests (mine)
...if you have a funny story (funny now, but not at the time)...how your son passing gas during a diaper change managed to shoot a poo ball on your cheek! (from Sandi)
...if you see your parents in a whole new light! (from Katrina)
...if you carry a diaper bag as a purse (from Kelly)
...if you have items in your purse that would normally be found in a baby's room or diaper bag (from Wendy)
...if nasty bodily fluids don't bother you; OR if you have other children spit their gum into your hand when they're done! (from Candace)
...if your belly gradually got huge over 9 months. Then you suddenly had a bunch of pain followed by a human coming out of you! (from Elizabeth)
...if you start saying the phrase, "Because I said so!" and it may be to a coworker, not your children! (from Melanie)
...if you can change a dirty diaper and not get the dry heaves because it looks like pea soup & smells worse (from Diana)
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...if most of your shirts are stained on the shoulder (from droop & goop)
...if you keep a box of baby wipes in the car...just in case
...if you pull something out of your purse and a baby sock falls out
...if your dishwasher has no real cups...all sippy cups & bottles

The Boni Bunch

Friday, January 25, 2013

Lost "friends," but TOO BLESSED!

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