Who Rules the Roost?

I recently read a FB post where a mom said,

 "I never tell my child to hold on while I'm talking to a friend. My child will never come second to someone else. If he has a question or needs to tell me something, I ALWAYS stop and listen. He is not an interruption."

Good? Bad? Both?

A few other friends are getting involved in the "unschooling movement." Don't know what that is? Well, essentially, the kid is home-schooled. BUT they're not taught out of a book ...they're taught by their "natural curiosity in their environment!" There is no set agenda or schedule to their day. The child dictates their learning. If the child wants to play games, they play games. If, during the game, the child says, "How does this work?" then the parent takes that opportunity to explain real life stuff...and THAT is the education!

"The term "unschooling" describes an approach in which parents do not authoritatively direct the child's education, but interact with the child following the child's own interests, leaving them free to explore and learn as their interests lead. "Unschooling" does not indicate that the child is not being educated, but that the child is not being "schooled", or educated in a rigid school-type manner... children learn through the experiences of life, and encouraged parents to live their lives with their child. Also known as interest-led or child-led learning, unschooling attempts to follow opportunities as they arise in real life, through which a child will learn without coercion. An unschooled child may utilize texts or classroom instruction, but these are not considered central to education..."  (taken from Wikipedia)

I can definitely see the value of putting your child's needs as a top priority. They are sweet, little, innocent minds with big hearts. We don't want to squash their spirits, right?? But is it doing them an injustice by NOT teaching proper manners? By saying you don't ever make your child wait if he wants to tell you something, that teaches him/her that they are the center of the universe, and that what others need is irrelevant. It teaches that mom's need for adult interaction is unnecessary because no matter what mommy is doing, they are in charge.

Then, on the school topic, kids THRIVE on structure. They need structure and routine in their lives. They succeed best with structure. I have trouble understanding how un-schooling a child with no structure is a GOOD thing. I can appreciate the benefit of kids not having to suffer through the pressures of the school system. I can understand not putting your child through the heart-ache of test anxiety. BUT, child-led education once again tells the kid that the world revolves around them. I think this line of thinking encourages narcissism.

Perhaps I am wrong... Perhaps I am right. BUT I think that allowing young kids to dictate their lives is not preparing them for the real world. I feel like when they are grown and out on their own, they'll expect the world to bend over backwards for them like their parents did. I think they'll struggle with a manager in the workplace because jobs are NOT employee-led, they're manager led! I just don't understand how letting the child rule the roost is beneficial LONG TERM for the child. 

I am of the mindset that the child's thoughts and opinions are VERY important. I want to hear them... I encourage their curious minds! BUT, only to a certain extent.  I feel that it is important for a child to understand that when an adult is talking to someone else, they need to wait until the adult is done talking. I think teaching manners and respect for adults is vital to a child's upbringing. My kids are learning that if I am on the phone or talking to someone, unless it's an emergency, they need to wait until I'm done. AND... they need to say "Excuse me"  if they feel like they NEED to tell me something in the middle of another conversation. 

 DISCLAIMER:

Now, I do realize that posting this will make some people upset with me... but that's the beauty of a blog. It's my blog; it's my thoughts! Every parent needs to do what THEY feel is best for THEIR children. I think if you are doing the unschooling thing- more power to ya... I just don't agree with it being what is best for my children!  Perhaps I just don't fully understand the concept, but from what I can see....from what I DO understand, it's all about the kid controlling the parents. I think we need to get society back in a position where the parents control the kids! 

Okay...stepping off my soapbox now...enjoy your day!