drained...

I am spent. My emotions and my body are spent. I am so drained.

Back in middle and high school, my parents were foster parents in group homes. One of the girls that was at the home in Colorado was murdered recently... just found out on Wednesday. Very sad to hear this news! The only suspect the police had in the case committed suicide when they started investigating him.

Then, on Thursday, I received word that my father passed away. (The pic to the left is of me as a baby with my mom and dad.) This was, at first, not too upsetting. My father and I never had the "perfect" daddy/daughter relationship. Most of my memories of my dad were NOT the good ones that a lot of girls can remember when thinking of their dad. But still...he was my dad. But still...there WERE good times. At first when I got the news, I kinda chuckled and said, "I'm surprised I'm not more upset"... but as it sank in, the reality of it all, it hit me...the sadness hit. Then all I could think was how angry I was that ... after all the years of crud in our family because of him, even in his death, he was making me hurt. That I was STILL being hurt by him... and he's not even here. I am almost more mad that I am sad, than actually sad...if that makes any sense!!?? I have been overwhelmed by the love and care and support of my friends on facebook. Everyone saying how sorry they are for the loss of my "daddy".... then I'm a little mad all over again, because honestly, I can't remember calling him "daddy." You know...that "daddy's girl" relationship that most girls take for granted... yep, I never had that! For my whole life, I said I didn't care... it wasn't that important... but let me just tell you... now that he's gone and I know that I will NEVER have that opportunity... I must admit, I was always jealous of that relationship that other girls had! I can count on one hand the number of times we've talked in the last 5 years... it's sad really. He was not the kind of person to brag about... he was not the person who invested time in creating happy memories... but he was my dad. No matter what kind of stuff he put me through... I still loved him- he was my father! He will be missed!

Tonight, in the midst of my emotional week, I found out that a friend's baby passed away today- it was strange too, he wasn't sick at all- a very happy baby. He was crying...then he quit breathing. My friend tried CPR... worked with 911 trying to resuscitate... paramedics tried...all to no avail. They have no idea what happened... he was only 4 months old. It just breaks my heart for her loss... I can't even imagine the heart ache of losing a baby.

THEN, another girl I met recently delivered stillborn triplets this week.

My brain won't shut off with my own "issues", but now adding these losses in my circle of friends... well, that's why I am wide awake at almost 1am typing this out. HOPING that getting out my thoughts and feelings would help me sleep..... If you've read all of this, thanks for sticking with me. Please pray for me, my mom, my brother and all of these other families I mentioned here. Please pray that I can sleep... I desperately need to sleep!

Embracing the King

Today I'm embracing the camera... haven't linked up in a couple of months and I feel SO out of the loop! So, since it's Thursday, and since I actually got in front of the camera today, I am linking up with Emily and some of my other blogger buddies to Embrace The Camera!! For those of you newly following me, ETC is on Thursdays, click the link above to see the post of who started this great idea. Basically, it's the day that we - the "grown ups" get in FRONT of the camera... and brag about it in our blogs! Cause, when you look back and see how YOUR parents looked when you were a kid, it's always fun to reminisce...right? So, this ETC day helps give our kids something to see when they're all "growed up!" I love this blog theme... wish I remembered to do it EVERY Thursday !!

So, about our Embrace... today we went shopping and out to lunch with my mother in law! For lunch, we went to Burger King! All the kids wore their crowns...of course! Bella said, "I am a girl king!" LOL... she's so sweet! Here are our fun pictures of our day...

My embrace moments: Me with my Girl King and my King Asher (Left); me with my Googly-Eyed King Xander (right)!





A couple extra pictures I took at BK... My MIL with King Jonathan and My Girl King Bella licking the ketchup! That girl LOVES that stuff!

Pineapple Upside Down Muffins

Found a recipe on Pinterest and tweaked it a little bit... this makes 20 cupcakes
(approximately...I guess it depends on how full you fill the pan!)

Here's my ingredients:
Yep, that's it... well...oops, I guess it's not ALL. I also used 1 Tbsp brown sugar and non-stick cooking spray.

Here's what I did:
Pour our the crushed pineapple into a large mixing bowl. With slotted spoon to drain juice, set aside about 1/2 C pineapple. Mix the cake mix in the large bowl with the remaining pineapple and juices until well mixed. With the 1/2 C pineapple set aside, mix in about 1 Tbsp brown sugar. Spray 2 muffin pans with cooking spray. Divide evenly in 20 of the muffin holes (is that what the spaces are called in a muffin pan??). ANYWAYS.... split the brown sugar/pineapple mix into 20 muffin holes, then pour/scoop the cake mix into the pan on top of the pineapple. Bake about 15 minutes at 350 degrees (or until toothpick has no batter on it). Turn muffin tin upside down on a cookie sheet to cool.

YUMMY and DELICIOUS!!

Here's the final result:

Egg Rolls and Fried Rice

Saturday's dinner was SO good. Tim commented repeatedly about how good it was! I was so proud! Tim LOVES going to Chinese buffets, so I was hesitant to try to cook it at home.

I bought egg roll wraps to make my own. You'll probably find these in the produce section at the grocery store! I cooked a pork roast in the crock pot all day... I coated it in salt, pepper, Lawry's seasoning salt, and onion powder and cooked it in 3 cups of water plus 1 chicken bouillon cube. After cooking it all day, I shredded it into small pieces, then set it aside. I chopped up a head of cabbage, grated about 1 cup carrots, diced 1 onion ... boiled all of this for about 2 minutes- just to take the crunch off, without overcooking. I drained and rinsed the veggies in cool water. After fully drained, mix the meat into the veggies and season according to taste. I again used my salt, pepper, Lawry's and onion powder. Put about 1-2 Tbsp of this mixture in the corner of the egg roll wrap; roll the corner over the mixture, fold in the two side corners, then roll up to the top corner. Use egg whites to seal (I used a pastry brush to apply the egg whites). The package made 20 egg rolls. After forming all of them, deep fry for about 5 minutes at 375degrees.
OMG...YUM!
We had several leftovers- so reheating for about 10 minutes in a 400 degree oven made them perfect all over again!!

I only used about 1/2 of the stuffing mixture in the egg rolls, so I added it to my fried rice. Here's how I did the rice.... boil 1 1/2 C white rice until cooked, then drain and rinse in COLD water. Let sit in cold water til cooled completely, drain and set aside. I let it sit at room temperature about 30-45 minutes because the recipe I found said to use day-old cooked rice... I didn't have my magic time machine to fast forward and let the rice sit overnight... so I improvised :) ANYWAY, back to cooking! Scramble 2 eggs in a bowl and pour into a buttered skillet to cook. When eggs are cooked, remove from skillet. Then, in same pan, heat 1 Tbsp oil. Add veggies and whatever you want IN the rice and cook through. Again, my mixture included cabbage, onions, carrots and pork, but I also added about 1/2 C frozen corn. When that was heated through, I added the rice and soy sauce (amount of soy is dependent upon personal taste... I don't like a lot!) ... cook rice and veggie/meat for about 10 minutes, stirring often. Mix in eggs and let cook another 5 minutes! The rice dulled the flavor a little bit, so I added some more salt and pepper, but it wasn't necessary...again depending on personal taste.

Here is the finished product! Even my pickiest eater (Xander) ate an egg roll and LOVED every bite! This was a definite cooking success! We loved every single minute of this dinner experience :)

Making Memories

We've been doing some fun stuff... stuff that's out of my "comfort zone". See... I am very particular about being in control of messiness... when the kids color, I want to dictate HOW they do it! When they finger paint, I only give each kid ONE color because I don't want the colors mixed. When they play with play-dough, I cringe because WHAT IF THEY MIX THEM?? Then the colors will NEVER be the same again! I don't let them help in the kitchen, because, again, I am a control freak and want it MY way.


Yes, I know I need to get over that! SO... in the last week, we've done 2 things that are WAAAAYYY out of my zone!


First, I let the kids make their own bagel pizzas!

They loved every moment!

Here's some pictures from that dinner...
check out the one with Bella with the boys stealing cheese in the background...
HILARIOUS!







THEN... today was even more messy! The kids ask to paint...ALL the time! As I mentioned before, I don't like to let them paint...it's hard for me! SO, I had this BRILLIANT idea (if I do say so myself...LOL)! I decided that since today was supposed to be 83 degrees outside, we would paint the driveway! The kids probably thought I was nuts, but I had told them for the last 3 days that we'd do this... the anticipation grew with each day. Then today, I bought a box of 10 bottles of Crayola washable finger paints, plus I already had a box. After Xander got home from school, I took the paint out on the driveway and opened all the lids. I told the kids to do whatever they wanted to the driveway! Bella was the last of them to jump in, she wasn't quite sure what to make of it... until I started making footprints with all of the different colors of paint (my favorite was the one that looked patriotic)!

Then she HAD to join in!
They had a blast...
they were A MESS!
I was a mess!
And... while it was completely CRAZY of me to do it, I had SO MUCH FUN making memories with them!
Hope you like these pics too!

10 on 10 - March

Today is the 10th of the month... that means it's one of my favorite blog days of the month! Today is the day that my alarm goes off more than I'd like to hear... but it reminds me every hour to take a picture of something I see at that moment! Today's blog post is 10 pics in 10 hours on the 10th of the month! Thank you, Raeanne, for getting me hooked on this one :)
Welcome to a glimpse into the day of The Boni Bunch.....


















745am: Xander at the computer...he LOVES playing games on there!

845am: My mom cutting Asher's hair. It's always quite an ordeal...one might think A was getting his limbs cut off the way he screams! UGH!!!

945am: My mom getting some snuggle time with Jonathan

1045am: Twin Cherry Berry kiddos! Sure are cute :)

1145am: Asher chowing down on some chicken nuggets

1245pm: Twins feet- pretending to play soccer at the field today. Bella would say, "ready, set, gooooooo!" and then they'd both kick their balls! They had so much fun!

145pm: Elmo bowl of Cheerios... SNACK TIME!!

245pm: Me.... so very sleepy! Xander took my picture when the alarm went off! LOL

345pm: Xander, Asher, & Jonathan decorating cookies with Trystan at Trystan's birthday party

445pm: Xander with two of his soccer buddies: Trystan and Aidan



Busy day today.... hope your day was as fun as our's!

Two Things Tuesday

Two Talk-able Topics for Tuesday:

1: Bella got these crazy-cool new pajamas (gotta love clearance!) ... so this morning, when I got out of bed, she was up watching cartoons and this is how she looked! She's sporting the great new pjs, plus her new hand-me-down boots, hand-me-down bunny purse, hand-me-down poodle backpack and hand-me-down girlie bike helmet (all HMD's thanks to Kayla!!). Doesn't she look SO VERY stylish??



2. Xander's Cat in the Hat picture... I just think this is great! As you may, or you may not, know...last week was Dr Seuss' birthday! Most elementary schools celebrate all week long with fun arts/crafts, fun snacks, wacky clothing days, etc...all in honor of Dr. Seuss! Well, little did I know that my kid could draw like this! I was so proud of him when I saw how good he did! SO... I had to share with my blogger buddies!!