A brother from another mother

When I was two years old, my parents got divorced. My father didn’t want the responsibility of being a husband or a father. I didn’t hear from him or see him again for 9 years- not until I was 11. He moved from Florida to Arizona, fell in love with another woman, and began a new family. When I was about 3 ½ years old, he and his new wife had a little boy named Dustin. I had a half-brother, but I never had the chance to know him or adore him!

Fast forward several years. Shortly after I turned 11, my dad showed up back in Florida saying that he was a new man. He had found God and wanted my mom and me back in his life. So, my mom took him back. Just over a year later, they had my brother, Nathan. I had a full-brother that I knew and adored!

Fast forward a few more years. Shortly after I turned 16, my mom and dad were divorced again. At some point over the year or so that he had visitation, he introduced me (over the phone) to Dustin, my younger, half-brother. We exchanged pictures and talked a couple times, but that was it.  When Dustin lost contact with me, he lost contact with dad too. Dad disappeared for a while.

Over the years, I always wondered what happened to him, but had NO clue how to reach him. We’re talking back in the early 90’s when we didn’t have Facebook to easily find people you wanted to search for. I didn’t know where to begin. After all, “Dustin Scott” is a pretty generic name… nothing WRONG with the name, but it just doesn’t stand out because it’s pretty common!

Fast forward again to last school year. Asher had an assignment in 2^nd grade where he had to interview me and write about the interview. One of the questions he had to ask me was,

“TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT I DON’T KNOW!”

So I told him that he has an uncle besides Nathan (who lives here in OK) and Chris (my brother-in-law in KY). He was shocked! So I explained that I have a brother whom I’ve never met because he lives in another state, and I have no idea how to find him!

Then, last month, on my birthday, I went to lunch with a good friend of mine. I was telling her about Dustin and how I wished that I could find him. She said that in this world of technology in which we live, surely I could find him…. So we talked about me sending a message to every Dustin Scott I could find on Facebook that lives in Arizona and then MAYBE I would find him!

This is the message I sent to about 4 or 5 different Dustin Scotts:

“Hello! I am looking for someone named Dustin Scott. While I am not sure if you are who I am looking for, I thought I would attempt to reach out. I have a half-brother (same dad) that I have never met in person. We talked on the phone 20+years ago, and I had a picture of him once, but we never met. Last I knew he lived in Arizona. I would love to find him.... any chance it's you?”

The last one that I sent the message to was THE last one because I saw something on his Facebook profile page that made me know it was my brother! He posted last year that he was looking for his dad named Charles Scott and if anyone saw the message and knew anything about our dad to message him….. So I did!!

That was on Wednesday, September 28^th. I was a completely nervous wreck- my stomach was full of butterflies for days. He had posted that post over a year ago- what if he wasn’t on Facebook anymore? What if he didn’t want to talk to me? What if he only wanted information about dad and wasn’t interested in his sister? What if he didn’t even remember me since we only spoke a couple of times? The longer I waited for a reply, the more questions that ran through my mind. PLUS, then I dreaded the fact that *I* had to tell him our dad died 4 years ago…. That’s not quite what anyone wants to hear after finding long lost family… I don’t think so anyways!

Hi! I’m your sister. Nice to meet you again. By the way, our dad is dead!

On that Saturday, only 3 days after I sent my message, he replied:

"I set up this account hoping I would reach you or him...only talked to you a few times when I was 15. Just sent you a friend request on my account I always am on. My last named got changed to ***** after dad left when I was little. So how have you been sis?"

I cannot explain the excitement I had when I saw that post pop up on my Facebook!! I found my brother! I grew up as an only child until I was almost a teenager, and then it was just Nathan and me, but NOW I have 2 brothers (by blood… plus 1 step-sister and 1 brother/sister-in-law)!!! Family is everything… I love having so many people that I can call family! Below is a collage of me with my two brothers! I don’t know yet if Nathan and Dustin will connect, but maybe one day!

The moment came when I had to tell Dustin about dad passing away. He was obviously bummed that he will now never have the chance to get to know his dad, but also acknowledged that he never really knew him to begin with so…..

Since that day that we finally reconnected, we have been talking almost daily…just trying to catch up from all these years of lost time. He is 35, and I am 39 …that is A LOT of catching up! I can’t wait to learn more about him and the life he has lived.

Special thanks to Mrs. L’s school assignment that made me NOT stop thinking about Dustin for the last several months; and to Tiffany for encouraging me to keep looking until I find him! I am SO very glad I did!

God is good!!